Be Kind Anyway...

Around the 1st week of the month, I had an emotional meltdown. It was one not-at-all-fine Thursday morning, when I got all emotional, and ugly-cried in public (ok.. semi-public 😏). I just felt tired dealing with the daily throes of traffic 😒 constantly adjusting my time just to make it to the office - and people who work in the greater Manila area understand how extremely stressful traffic congestion gets in the morning. And that particular morning it got extra extreme 😣😣😣 (I know! It's hard to imagine, but it really got even worse!!!) not only were the vehicles in exhausted-snail pace, but getting a ride became awfully challenging! And things just started piling up from there on..

photo cr: Disney Inside Out

The day started on a rather positive vibe... I was feeling rather proud, thinking that I would be coming to work earlier than usual because I made an effort to leave early. In fact there were still a number of students making their way to class when I was walking towards the transport waiting area near our place. Since it was still early, I didn't bother turning on my Grab app, as I was positive I could get a ride soon, and make it to work on time... After some time, and I still haven't got a ride, I began feeling anxious, and when I glanced on my phone, I was sad to realize that almost 30 mins. had passed and I was still there unable to get a ride.  When it looked like I won't be getting anywhere soon with the rate of traffic, I decided to change plans & moved to a different route... By this time, more than 45 mins had already passed. But I still kept my cool. I thought, ok maybe I would be a little late, but that's fine. It was just a shame that this happened even with the extra effort to leave earlier, but that's life & unfortunate things happen. At that time, I also decided to turn on Grab to increase my chance of getting a cab. After more than an hour had passed, I was already in a prickly mood. I was starting to have bad feeling, and as time passed and still I couldn't get a ride even with Grab, my mood was turning sour. I was feeling frustrated and desperate, to the point that I was already cursing the day. Finally, there was a cab who stopped, the driver was rather hesitant to take me because by that time my destination was expected to have heavy traffic already. I tried to keep my voice calm as I pleaded the driver to please drive me to work. I had to bribe him extra P50 just to get him to agree. But as soon as we drove forward, I just felt overwhelmed with frustration & self pity with the ordeal that I had to go through just to get a ride to work. Before I could stop myself, I started to cry 😭😭😭. Like really ugly-cry, and I couldn't stop!   

photo cr: https://marandarussell.files.wordpress.com/

I felt like I didn't want to proceed to work anymore. I was in such an awful mood when I thought of calling my best friend, if only to unload some of the frustration I had that morning. She was trying to make me laugh, but it didn't seem to work, I still kept crying uncontrollably. In the end I apologized for calling her, and told her that I would just call when I was feeling better. As I hang up, the cab driver felt sorry for me that he couldn't help but speak out. I apologized for breaking down like that, and he said it was no problem. He then told me that I was kind - which of course seemed unusual for me, being that we never met before 😕. The driver went on and said that he had a number of passengers, who would be swearing non-stop due to utter frustration brought about by the traffic, but I was different - I just cried 😌 I just said swearing wouldn't really help the traffic congestion in any way - not that crying would do any better... It's just that uttering bad words was not really my style 😅. He then continued, with his "grandfatherly" tone, talking gently as if trying to console me 😕 I realized, I must have made him really uncomfortable for crying, as he drove on to the late morning traffic. I must really be in such a pitiful state, that when finally got in my office, he told me no need pay additional fare 😅. I still paid him extra, and thanked him for driving me to work. I guess being kind made all the difference... 😇 Later that day, I called back my bff to tell her that calling her was helpful after all - I then relayed what the driver did, and it was that kind gesture that somehow helped me to find the energy to face the day's work. 

Just this weekend, I got into an accident 😟 It was raining hard and there was a long queue for taxi, so by the time I got a ride, I was really looking forward to a warm bath and sleep. It was still raining heavily when I got out of the cab. As I made my way to the the other side of the street, towards the gate of our house, a speeding scooter (medium-sized, later I learned that it was an e-bike) appeared out of nowhere & knocked me to the ground. 

I just took no more than 2 steps when the scooter hit me. I was well within the pedestrian lane when I fell on the street, and usually pedestrian lanes go with humps, as the case in our area - which caused the rider to get thrown off the bike & flew over the other side of the humps. It all happened too abruptly, and since it was raining hard I tried my very best to get up & seek shelter at a roofed area near by. I even observed that I was able to get up before the rider who hit me - I wasn't sure if it was a woman or a young man. All I can make out of him/her was that he/she was wearing a riders raincoat, with large circle prints, and he/she had a small body frame. As the rider got up, he/she just looked at me but didn't really bother to make any effort to check if I was ok. I felt my left leg was quickly growing painful, so I decided to make my way to my house, to ask help from my family. My focus was to get into a hospital quickly, because my left leg was quickly swelling up. When I got home, my leg was already painful and the size my calf grew dangerously close to the size of my thighs because of the swelling. As I sat on the porch and did a quick assessment of my injuries, the bruise on my left leg was huge & was in a plain black shade. I also observed bruises on my right arm, right leg and I could feel a dull pain on my right hip - which could be attributed to my fall. I just had a quick change of clothes, and made my way to the hospital. I spent at least 2 hours in the hospital to get everything checked, took a series of xrays, until the doctor verified that I did not sustain any fractures - no broken bones. The doctor then prescribed me something for the swelling and was sent home. So, it was sometime after midnight when I was sent home. The following day, it seemed like any ordinary Sunday, except it was hard to get up as my leg hurts with any shift in position. I went on and informed those that I was supposed to meet during the long weekend that I won't make it to the planned appointment. I had to move & re-arrange my appointments. And it was a big hassle. I also consulted some friends on how to file the report for the accident - I was not after any monetary settlement or any of that sort, I just wanted to know if I need to do any report at all. A friend from PNP advised me what to do, and since I was advised to stay out of my feet, my mom was the one who filed the report at our Baranggay* Hall. One thing we really appreciate in our baranggay was the availability of quality CCTV around our town. As soon as the town hall people saw my Mom approach, they were very welcoming, and eager to help. One quick click to the time & street, and they were able to locate the footage of the accident.  They observed that I seemed calm & didn't bother to make a scene as the whole ordeal unfold. My Mom just simply said that it's very unlikely that I would react violently, it was not my nature. And it's true. 😐

Be Kind Anyway... Through both ordeals, I realized how I could have reacted differently, or at least how people expected my reaction to be, and how far that expectations were in the actual unfolding of events. I'm not claiming to be an expert in the kindest of gestures, but what I do know is how the good Lord guided me through my day to day endeavors - the good & not so good. Like when the accident happened, the people watching the CCTV commented that I seemed OK, which was rather dumb 😓. Not being able to go to work for the entire week due to the my bad leg, that's hardly OK at all.. Looking back, I recall being really annoyed at the rider. Have I not felt the growing pain on my leg, I thought I wanted to pick up the scooter & drop it on the rider - that was what I honestly thought that time! 😤Would I have done it, given the chance? I'm not really sure. All I know is that the Lord blessed me with a good enough sense & strength to get up & get the necessary help, to focus on what's important - and in that manner, I was able to remain calm & saw it as a chance to choose to be kind. I am no Saint - that much I am sure about myself. I'm still pretty annoyed at the irresponsible rider, for speeding at the pedestrian lane in the pouring rain - leading to my not being able to go to work. But I am still grateful to the Lord, it could have been worse! I could have fractures and need to cast my leg, which would need longer time to heal - but the good Lord didn't allow that to happen. I could have been angry & miserable, but instead I saw the blessing behind it - which made all the difference. Given a choice, of course I would choose NEVER to go through such harrowing experiences, but since they happened, I thank the Lord for the grace & the opportunity that I have been blessed with - where I was able to choose to be kind. I hope this help inspire us, however small way, to always find the blessing amidst distressing situations, and may we continue to be a blessing to everyone and always BE KIND!  

~💖xoxo💘~

*Baranggay = community or town. In this case, my mom went to file the report at the local town hall. 

Journey To The Enlightened Path - I Love Life Retreat

“There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation”

-          Way Back in to Love ~ Music & Lyrics OST

This verse from a popular song came to mind when I started typing. I’ve been searching for enlightenment for as long as I can remember. I feel there must be some kind of purpose, a deeper meaning, why I exist. Exist being the operative word. I often find myself scrambling for any substantial meaning to make it feel that it’s actually a LIFE. I realize it’s a rather depressing thought, so I would try my very best to give this piece some light.

On the outside, I know I seem pretty normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, just one of the unrecognizable face in the crowd - Nothing special. Yet, as overly dramatic as it sound, there’s that inner battle – an Existential Crisis, if you may - that I don’t really feel like fighting. What for? I seriously don’t see the point. But, I find myself still waking up to a new day – a new promise of HOPE. So, I thought I owe it to myself to discover what lies for me down the road.

that's right, it was 2015 - 2 years ago! 

This was pretty much the premise I was in when I accepted the invitation to join the I LOVE LIFE Retreat. I had only attended the Feast once, I think (?). Though on some occasions I would chance upon it on TV, but no real intention or effort to join. For some reason, I got invited to join the retreat... and I’m glad I was given this chance. I believe the good Lord intended to put me here to nudge me towards the direction that I’ve been praying for. So I was able to join this dynamic group - batch 6 [of the star circle quest] 😄 haha.. My purpose of writing this (however belatedly) is to share my insights – highlights & lowlights - of the retreat. This is solely based on my personal opinion, so it may or may not reflect the general consensus of the participants of the batch. 👼

Highlights: What I really appreciate about joining was the warm reception of the service team on the onset. And I do mean right at the very onset of inquiring regarding the retreat – I think it was sis Arianne who kindly corresponded with me on the details on the registration, payment, and other pertinent information relevant to the activity. I had experienced joining other group activities, in some instance on a National level, so I have a good enough reference on the helpfulness of the organizers & service team of activities/events similar to this. I have a knack on knowing whether or not people are being true or not. I can easily pick on the person’s sincerity, or lack thereof – which becomes my basis on how to deal with people I meet. For that matter, I can really feel that the service team had their heart set for the retreat to run as smoothly as possible. 😉

Another thing, I liked how we were grouped for room assignments. I was roommates with Joyce and Jocelyn – all 3 of us just met there. Later on we realized that we were grouped together because we were the same age. 😅 We actually shared this hilarious moment where in all 3 of us were talking as if we’re older than the other 2.. We were talking about some random stuff and one of us mentioned something like “during my time.. and at my age now, etc…”, which then led to a reply “It can’t be that bad, considering that I AM this… & such…”. The conversation went on for a few more minutes, until one of us blurted, “why, how old are you exactly, ‘coz I’m [current age]” – it was only then that we realized that we all have the same age. Thus, explained how we can totally relate to what the other was talking about. And because of this arrangement, I didn’t feel such an alien, instead I felt more like I found 2 new sisters. 😍

The talks & the activity line up were uplifting and fun at the same time. In a true FEAST manner, one can really feel God’s love emanating in all of us. Through this retreat, I met new sisters/friends that are awe-inspiring and made me feel great about the faith journey that we all shared. We were all strangers when we boarded the bus, but we became sisters and brothers after the retreat. I may not have a chance to interact with them after the retreat, but thanks to the wonder of social media, we continue to stay connected. A good reminder of the time we shared in the iLove Life Retreat.

Team Ephesians 😍

Lowlights: The activity line up was all good, but I found the actual execution extremely exhausting! I understand that the organizers wanted to maximize the experience in this retreat, but carrying out all the activities was physically wearing. As much as I wanted to participate & share the encounter with everyone, I found myself all worn out! 😣The day started with a 5-5:30 am call time on a Saturday, so everyone had to come early, lest risk being left by the bus. When we arrived in the retreat venue, we didn’t have time to get settled, no time to wash our face & refresh, not even put our things in the rooms. We were instructed to just put our belongings at the back of the session hall, and proceed with the program. Now, don’t get me wrong, trust me I know the importance of time. I was aware that we’re in  strict observance of time to carry out all the activities, which I felt was of utmost importance to our organizers. And I actually applaud them for their effort in accomplishing the task. But, I do hope they put more allowance to the possible stretch in travel time, and other matters. I’m not saying they didn’t, which is why I wished for “more allowance” – you see, a lot of us came from work that time. In my case, I had the entire week of extended work hours (12 or more hours in the office). Come Friday night, I had to be mindful to cut my sleeping time to make it to the early morning call time the following day. Now, I know a number of the participants managed to catch some sleep during the drive to Tagaytay, but the case does not apply to all. Sadly, it didn’t apply to me. However way I tried to close my eyes in the hope to catch some needed rest to be able to participate in the retreat, I simply cannot sleep in a moving vehicle (which was why I took the plane when I went on a trip to Ilocos). Anyway, we proceeded with the program as planned for day 1. It was only after lunch when we were given the chance to wash & refresh, but still not see our rooms. So, it was a long queue to the women's bathroom. And we only had time to retouch our make up with our bags on the floor – boot camp style. To some, it may not be important to have time to “retouch make up”, and I think that’s valid. But, just to illustrate the mechanism of those who needed proper “retouching time”, please indulge me: 👸 As a general rule, my make-up routine consists of moisturizer, powder, and lip color – I don’t bother with eye make-up, concealer, highlighter, blush & contour. I go for the “less is more” look. It is important  for me because however tired you are physically, you can lighten & uplift yourself by looking refreshed, revived. So, if I look fresh & feel fresh, it helps me lift up my mood & participate well in the group interactions. Also, whether you admit it or not, it also helps the speaker to see a lively audience, as opposed to pale-looking and zombified crowd due to lack of proper sleep. Case & point. Going back to the program, we continued on to the next part, and the activities stretched on until past midnight, where there was a bonfire, and there were hotdogs & marshmallows to roast in the fire. It was supposed to be fun, in fact, it seemed like a great way to bond with the group at the end of the day. BUT, with the number of activities squeezed in for day 1, a good half of us chose to skip the bonfire if only to go wash up & finally get some sleep.

Another flaw would be the food. 🍱 Admittedly, I’m a picky eater – not because I have a lousy attitude towards food, but because I have some health issues to consider. However, this hardly constituted to my pickiness, but more on the food choices & general preparation. As this happened 2 years ago, I don’t remember anymore what the dishes were, but I do recall the beef with ampalaya, & 1 other vegetable dish. The dishes were not cooked properly. I’m a decent enough cook to distinguish “half-cooked” from not cooked at all. The vegetables, the ampalaya in particular, was still very fresh (raw), and it’s not the type of cut that could pass for a “fresh green salad”, it was about an inch thick and more than 1 in. long, cut diagonally. It seemed like the heat (from cooking) barely touched the vegetable pieces. I’m not sure about the others, but I just know that had I ate that, I would develop not only the regular stomach upset, but with matching gas pains &/or spasms. As for the food choices, it was just odd combination, if not plain weird. There’s definitely plenty of room for improvement for the food.  

All in all, the I Love Life retreat was a really good experience. And with all that’s mentioned above, I would definitely recommend it to people to try & benefit from the activity. The talks, the inspiration, the life sharing, and the very core of the retreat certainly outweighs the low-points. In this retreat, not only did I get to listen to Bro. Obet Cabrillas' talk – which was such a delight because I attended a different event where he was the speaker, so I knew his caliber – but also, I had the pleasure of dining with him. He sat at our table & chatted animatedly with us. I remember regretting not being able to have my book signed, because I didn’t have it with me in the retreat. But that’s one encounter that I really cherished. Also, I had the pleasure of meeting sis Elly Cabal, author of the esteemed “Worth the Chase” book (I have a separate blog on this). Plus, I gained a number of friends who, up to this day, still continue to inspire and uplift my spirit through their posts on social media. From time to time, I would send a note or just click on the reaction icons, which may not count to anything significant – but in that tiniest of gestures, I want them to know that I am grateful to have met them in my life. Time permits, I may send them simple notes of thanks individually, as they might not get a chance to read this piece. So, if anyone asks if it’s worth going to the retreat, I’d say I highly recommend it! And don’t just take my word for it, grab the chance and experience it yourself. Allow the wonder of God’s love touch you & share the moment with the people whom the good Lord have selected for you to be with at the moment. Let’s continue to be God’s blessing to one another! God bless!

#TeamEphesians Cry of Pugad Lawin
*photo by Jeanne Harn* ©

💗~xoxo~💖

p.s. special thanks go out to my “retreat sisters”

To Maine: thanks for sharing your song videos. They’re really inspiring, in more ways than you realize.

To Illin: thank you for your wit & humor. When I’m having a bad day, I just scroll through my newsfeed and your posts never fail to put a smile on my face.

To Marie: God bless your heart. Thanks for including me in your wonderful projects. Sorry I’m not able to do more, but I hope you’ll continue to give me a chance to share my little contribution.

To Ms Maila: thank you for inviting me to this retreat, and thank you for being God’s blessing to me! 😘

I FInally Found Zen

Finally 'got myself a zenbook! 😍

No More Excuses!

After years of putting it off, and I do mean YEARS!!! 😓 I finally decided to purchase a laptop 😅 It was a rather conscious effort as I go through my usual over-thinking phase, which was why it took me a few years to finally go ahead & buy one. And I must say, it was rather liberating and I’m quite thrilled with my purchase, actually 😊 (yes, I’m aware that it’s a bit dramatic, but hey, nobody’s forcing you to read on!).

So, I got myself a zenbook, which was not my first choice! 😉 I was actually looking for a Thinkpad or maybe Dell Inspiron. I already have the basics specs in mind, so I went through a number of computer stores to search for the “ONE”. The problem with my initial choices were: (1) Thinkpad was almost unavailable in store display. For this particular brand, the usual models on display were IdeaPad. The sales people would suggest to just order 1 – but the problem is, I want to see it first before I commit to place any order. (2) I did saw the elusive Thinkpad on display in one of my search quest, but when I asked for the color of the unit available, I usually get the same or similar reply, black or dark gray – which felt dark & dreary for my taste. So, moving along to my so-called search, I happened to see a working display of a zenbook, and it was just too pretty for me to ignore.

metallic pink key pad!!! 😍

Now, for this particular model, the sales person told me that they’re in fact not selling the laptop, but it was used to feature the software that they were selling. I’m not sure if the photo is clear enough, but it’s color is rose gold, and it was really thin, it has decent enough specs, oh and did I mention it was rose gold? 😁 And of course, with favorable specs & remarkable aesthetics, it sure comes with a rather hefty price - which also translates to way above my budget. In fact, the price was within the macbook price range. 😵 This put me in a bind, I momentarily considered blowing my budget if it means I’d get my hands on this pretty laptop. Fortunately, sound judgement never left me, so with one final (longing) glance at the beautiful piece, I turned away to look for something similar but not too pricey. So, I found myself looking at the next counter and another zenbook model caught my eye. This time, it was also thin & had similar specs as the pretty one, but the price is relatively within my range ~ I had to do away the metallic pink keypad, though. 😞 I asked the trusty sales person what other colors are there for this model, so he went on and mentioned other colors but I only registered “rose gold” – and from that moment on it was decided… I have found the one!

the toy minion is placed to illustrate how thin it actually is 😎

Along with the fascination of having a new computer would be the projects that I promised (myself) to undertake within x period of time...😅TIME being the operative word (hehehe.. of course the undertaking follows! 😅). But seriously though, I need to find a way to effectively manage my time so that I can accomplish things that I wish to do for myself and then some. 😉 I’ve already posted an outline of some of the things that I wish to do, and I should be more proactive in carrying them out to completion (or die trying?) 😜 hehe.. 

So, NO MORE EXCUSES!

💗 ~xoxo~ 💗 

A Progression Of Some Sorts

I have always considered doing a series - a progression of some sorts with one common concept or idea.. Yet, I can't seem to decide what particular concept to start with.. My mind is teeming with all sorts of creative ideas that I can't seem to bring myself to pick just one. So, on this note, I am going to make a list of topics that I do want to delve upon, and see where these inspirations take me. So, here goes..

•  All about Taurus - Alright! I'm some kind of a sucker for trivial zodiac articles, emphasis on TRIVIAL. And while I'm aware that a lot of it are meant for entertainment, I'm still very much fascinated by them. So much so, I find myself agreeing to a number of factoids published either on paper or online (I did admit I was a sucker for these!). I especially gravitate to qualities of a Taurus being loyal, very grounded, stubborn, unflinching, and my personal favorite zodiacthing.com Top Reasons Why Taurus Is The Best Zodiac Sign. As I'm not an expert on Zodiac qualities or astrology whatnots, I do aspire to write something as inspired by the numerous articles - only if just to express my opinion about such topic, however frivolous they may be. 😄😜😘

• Memoirs of an introvert - haha.. In an attempt to sound intellectual &/or fascinating, I might attempt to delve into the perks of being an introvert - if there's such perk for being one. I guess I'd be a walking contradiction if I declare myself as an introvert, seeing that I had a lot to say about anything - check my previous posts. Haha.. It may be hard to imagine, but the truth is I'm a very quiet person. I can very much relate to thoughtcatalog.com This is why you should take a chance on the quiet girl - yes, I'm a sucker, alright! I guess I'm adept to the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything!", hahaha.. Or simply because I'm not keen on having to explain myself to lower life forms (like I said, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything!"). Seriously though, part of the reason why I started an online journal (a.k.a this blog) was because I seem to have a lot of stuff in my mind and I'm in need of a proper outlet to express them. And in an attempt to humor myself, and keep my sanity, I came up with this sorry state of a blog ~ (hey! I think I just had a proper intro to this Memoirs thing!)

• Fashion & Beauty - now this has got to be one of the most ambitious topic, should I even seriously consider dipping a finger & a toe on this matter. I AM NO EXPERT! And I can never emphasize that enough! I do, however, know more than a thing or 2 about skincare & fragrances. You see, I would say I had the privilege of being in charge of the Beauty department for quite a good period of my professional career. I worked for a couple of known brands, where I was exposed to business & marketing side of cosmetic preparations (as what we call it in Pharmacy). My college peepz thought I was well suited for that role, and I do admit I had my share of fun handling the business for the most of my professional career. Do I miss it? Yes, of course! Am I qualified to break into this topic? For beauty, I would say I know enough. But mostly scientific stuff & the business side of the industry ~ which may not suit the humor that I want to inject to my piece (excuses, excuses, excuses!). For fashion, I like fashion, but my brand of fashion might be too classic to be considered remotely interesting.. So, I guess I could only scratch the surface in this one from time to time!

• Advice column(ish) approach on Love, Life & relationships -  I must say, I had plenty of laughs just for thinking about it! Let alone considered enough to include this on the list! hahaha.. Again, I would never remotely attempt to claim to be an expert on this.. It must be really silly of me to even include this here, but what I had in mind was the humorous kind of advice, probably similar to Tita Witty quotes or the likes.. I'm a fan of Tita Witty & Tita's of Manila, and I'm inspired to maybe try to come up with something witty, with a good balance of practical sense.

• Be a (wannabe) Critique -  😄😄😄 hahaha... There was a time when I used to contribute album reviews to a foreign music blog site. I would listen to a new album, then write what I thought/felt about each of the songs in the album (1 cd - usually had 10 or more songs). I've enjoyed that stint a lot, and I'm actually doing the music review free of charge! Just seeing the no. of views go up was satisfying enough for me. And I especially enjoy reading the comments/requests of those who read my reviews. Sadly, though, the site had long been defunct and my articles felt a lot like long lost memories of a different life time. And since I can no longer locate them (I was able to save the old drafts in my files, though), I would like to create a similar venue, where in I will do some sort of a review ~ not as an all-knowing expert of the subject matter, but as an ordinary individual sharing practical thoughts on topics at hand. I might look into other stuff, probably do a book review(?) ~ which was actually requested by a sister in a community who authored a book that I have purchased  some time ago (Ok I guess, I really have to do this one soon!). I’m also thinking of sharing personal views on interesting places I’ve been to, or social events/functions that I have attended.. Nothing judgmental or political, but honest to goodness opinion with a twist. 😁

• MMK-ish Life sharing – this is still a HUGE question mark as of this writing... As the blog title suggests “Reflection”, when I started this (online) journal, my idea was to share life experiences, lay them (literally) in front of me, face to face, and analyze what lessons can be drawn from this experience & whatnots.. The idea was to reveal the different facets of my life as if looking in front of a mirror, thus the term reflection. Yet, I’m afraid I haven’t really achieved this initial purpose. I wouldn’t really say I’ve strayed far from this idea, as the main content of all my blogs reveals what I think of certain topics & exposes my real feelings on the matter at hand. Even the very manner of my writing (or, at times, the lack of any sense), brings to light how I express my inner being, in ways that I can never imagine I could express in person (refer to no# 2 – about being an introvert). However, I do admit I could be rather creative when I conduct any form of communication, and writing is where I can be most creative! So, somewhere along such creativity, people who don’t know me may get lost in the twists & tangles of the rather lengthy narrative, and somehow fail to grasp the idea that I intended to express, and in the process gather a whole different perception altogether. It’s a tricky win-lose situation, but I guess that’s all part of the process!

cr: L'Occitane
En Provence

Putting them down like this, I realized the list simply categorized the number of different topics that I might have thought of or considered discussing in my blog. The beauty & advantage of it all, I realized, is that this is my blog! Ergo, I don’t have to limit myself with just one concept. All these intertwining thoughts would (hopefully!) make sense in the grand scheme of things. For now, I would simply tackle this one crazy idea at a time. Somewhere along this journey, I do hope I’d be able to shed light to the reflections of my earnest existence – or at the very least the existence  of this precautious blog. ~xoxo 😘

Spring Cleaning: Decluttering Your Thoughts

at Dole Kalsangi Club, South Cotabato

Lately, my mind have pre-occupied that renders me to fail to function properly. My mind seemed to be filled with a whole assortment of things that are neither useful not productive – to say the least. I find myself putting off a lot of important tasks – and wallow in some kind of “emotional turmoil”, if you may – wasting away precious time that was supposed to be spent getting a lot of things done (i.e. work & etc..). So, I have to do something to wake myself up from this extended reverie. I have to clear my mind so that the productive juice will flow, ergo the need for “Spring cleaning” ☺

I realized I have amassed quite a volume of clutter from the previous year. Suffice to say that 2016 leap year was nothing short of a roller coaster ride, with all the bumps, twists & turns to complete the entire cycle. I was able to conclude the year fairly well, in fact it was on a rather happy note. But the onset 2017 was an overload of work tasks, that having to finish all in such short notice and an even shorter timeline, rendered me all cluttered - with the overflow from last year and the  sudden impact of the start of this year. So, it took me until now to start uncluttering – start clearing my head to focus on the succeeding endeavors for the rest of the year. Well, of course, the wallowing also added to this being pushed further back. But that has got to stop!

So, I decided to give myself an assignment, something to help me focus on the more important stuff and at the same time keep my mind off things that would make me wallow some more ☺ Here’s a few projects that I wish to undertake for the remaining of the year:

• Re-visit your Blog: which is what I’m doing as of this writing. I had been putting off posting new entries for quite a while now – this actually contributed to the restlessness that I’ve been feeling. Writing have always been an effective outlet for me. It’s such an effective way for me to clear my mind of things that seem to bother me, and writing these things down, or in this case posting them on screen, gives me a different perspective. It’s like laying down the blueprint and analyzing stuff – sorting those that work from those that are just clutter ☺ So, on that note, I would undertake to revive my blog – publish something NEW every other week!

•  Take time to read your books: I’m very keen on reading books. And I must say, my collection have grown… my collection of unread books – that is! I’m very fond of reading. I guess reading and writing goes hand in hand, or at least it works that way for me. Reading is my escape, my safe haven, my sanctuary. It is where I refresh & replenish my mind, reinforce my creative spirit. Last year, I have been so swamped with work that I never had a chance to finish reading any of my books. An impromptu trip to the bookstore most of the time translates to a purchase of at least 2 books – and if it’s a book fair, book sale, or warehouse sale, then my book purchasing power gets multiplied 😎 haha.. So, by the end of 2016, I have more than a shelf full of books waiting to be read. Add to that the books I got on the recent book signing event that I’ve attended (more on that on a separate blog), then I think I have more than 20+ books that I haven’t had the chance to read yet.. For February, at least I know I was able to finish reading 1 of the books that I’ve received as a gift for Christmas (yep, that also added to my pile!) and I’ve already started reading the next book, which is why I haven’t been able to follow any of the current TV series out there… haha.. but I guess that’s ok! Reading my books makes me happy, and it wil also help me accomplish no. #1.

• Take a vacation: This is very important – and not just for some preachy hullabaloo on work-life balance... I have enough of that on social media. I realize, I need to get out of my usual routine and take a much needed and well deserved time away from work, away from the city... away from home(?) hehe.. This is one of the things that I have put off last year due to the time-sensitive demands at work – which became overwhelmingly stressful. My job ate up most of my time, and that persist for the majority of the year. I was able to take a short break and spend an overnight bonding treat with my family, just in time before it became crazy hectic thru the holiday rush.. This year, I have to include planned vacation leaves, and I do say real quality vacation leave, and not just some blink-and-you-missed-it momentary interlude... Undertaking this project would actually give me time to take on no. #2 or no. #1.. or both! So, this is actually a lot of fun!!!

Family bonding / stay-cation 💖

• Open your heart & live a little: This has got to be the trickiest of all the projects that I'm about to face for this year... and probably for the rest of my life (?) 😨 I've got to say, I have been independent and content with my life for quite a long time now, and I've always embraced the idea of "not rocking the boat". Opening your heart would mean widening your horizons and going out of your usual habit and give yourself a chance to grow, to explore new heights, find love ♥ and be courageous enough to sustain that love ♥... I don't have any idea how, but it's a challenge that I must face. I have been putting this off for a long, long time... I have actually convinced myself that I'm perfectly well without it, but if I am to be really truthful, then I've got to admit that it was an all-too-concious effort to actually avoid it... avoid finding LOVE. *deep sigh* I just never had the courage nor the strength to try. So, for this year this undertaking is the kind where I mindlessly stated #challengeaccepted. And I feel foolish & determined at the same time for challenging myself in exploring this option. But hey, I guess you'll never know until you try, right? 

So, there you have it... The list of challenges that I have undertaken to get things done for this year! As far as timeline is concerned, that's still subject to... maybe a different blog entry, perhaps? I think I've dug myself a deep enough grave here, so I'm calling it a day! Hopefully, I'd get to tick these items one by one as the year progresses. Bottom line, I do believe that I really need to give myself a break! And while we're at it, I suggest that you take one for yourself as well. 😘 xoxo