“There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation”
- Way
Back in to Love ~ Music & Lyrics OST
This verse
from a popular song came to mind when I started typing. I’ve been searching for
enlightenment
for as long as I can remember. I feel there must be some kind of purpose, a
deeper meaning, why I exist. Exist
being the operative word. I often find myself scrambling for any substantial
meaning to make it feel that it’s actually a LIFE. I realize it’s a rather
depressing thought, so I would try my very best to give this piece some light.
On the
outside, I know I seem pretty normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, just one of
the unrecognizable face in the crowd - Nothing special. Yet, as overly dramatic
as it sound, there’s that inner battle – an Existential
Crisis, if you may - that I don’t really feel like fighting. What for? I
seriously don’t see the point. But, I find myself still waking up to a new day
– a new promise of HOPE. So, I thought I owe it to myself to discover what
lies for me down the road.
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| that's right, it was 2015 - 2 years ago! |
This was pretty
much the premise I was in when I accepted the invitation to join the I LOVE LIFE
Retreat. I had only attended the Feast once, I think (?). Though on some
occasions I would chance upon it on TV, but no real intention or effort to
join. For some reason, I got invited to join the retreat... and I’m glad I was
given this chance. I believe the good Lord intended to put me here to
nudge me towards the direction that I’ve been praying for. So I was able to
join this dynamic group - batch 6 [of the star circle quest] ๐ haha.. My purpose of writing this (however belatedly) is to share my
insights – highlights & lowlights - of the retreat. This is solely based
on my personal opinion, so it may or may not reflect the general consensus of
the participants of the batch. ๐ผ
Highlights: What I really appreciate about joining was the warm reception of
the service team on the onset. And I do mean right at the very onset of
inquiring regarding the retreat – I think it was sis Arianne who kindly
corresponded with me on the details on the registration, payment, and other
pertinent information relevant to the activity. I had experienced joining other
group activities, in some instance on a National level, so I have a good enough
reference on the helpfulness of the organizers & service team of
activities/events similar to this. I have a knack on knowing whether or not
people are being true or not. I can easily pick on the person’s sincerity, or
lack thereof – which becomes my basis on how to deal with people I meet. For
that matter, I can really feel that the service team had their heart set for
the retreat to run as smoothly as possible. ๐
Another
thing, I liked how we were grouped for room assignments. I was roommates with
Joyce and Jocelyn – all 3 of us just met there. Later on we realized that we
were grouped together because we were the same age. ๐
We actually
shared this hilarious moment where in all 3 of us were talking as if we’re
older than the other 2.. We were talking about some random stuff and one of us
mentioned something like “during my time.. and at my age now, etc…”, which then
led to a reply “It can’t be that bad, considering that I AM this… & such…”.
The conversation went on for a few more minutes, until one of us blurted, “why,
how old are you exactly, ‘coz I’m [current age]” – it was only then that we
realized that we all have the same age. Thus, explained how we can totally
relate to what the other was talking about. And because of this arrangement, I
didn’t feel such an alien, instead I felt more like I found 2 new sisters. ๐
The talks
& the activity line up were uplifting and fun at the same time. In a true
FEAST manner, one can really feel God’s love emanating in all of us. Through
this retreat, I met new sisters/friends that are awe-inspiring and made me feel
great about the faith journey that we all shared. We were all strangers when we
boarded the bus, but we became sisters and brothers after the retreat. I may
not have a chance to interact with them after the retreat, but thanks to the
wonder of social media, we continue to stay connected. A good reminder of the
time we shared in the iLove Life Retreat.
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| Team Ephesians ๐ |
Lowlights: The activity line up was all good, but
I found the actual execution extremely exhausting! I understand that the
organizers wanted to maximize the experience in this retreat, but carrying out
all the activities was physically wearing. As much as I wanted to participate
& share the encounter with everyone, I found myself all worn out! ๐ฃThe day
started with a 5-5:30 am call time on a Saturday, so everyone had to come
early, lest risk being left by the bus. When we arrived in the retreat venue,
we didn’t have time to get settled, no time to wash our face & refresh, not
even put our things in the rooms. We were instructed to just put our belongings
at the back of the session hall, and proceed with the program. Now, don’t get
me wrong, trust me I know the importance of time. I was aware that we’re in strict observance of time to carry out all the activities, which I felt was of
utmost importance to our organizers. And I actually applaud them for their
effort in accomplishing the task. But, I do hope they put more allowance to the possible stretch in travel time, and
other matters. I’m not saying they didn’t, which is why I wished for “more allowance” – you see, a lot
of us came from work that time. In my case, I had the entire week of extended
work hours (12 or more hours in the office). Come Friday night, I had to be
mindful to cut my sleeping time to make it to the early morning call time the
following day. Now, I know a number of the participants managed to catch some
sleep during the drive to Tagaytay, but the case does not apply to all. Sadly,
it didn’t apply to me. However way I tried to close my eyes in the hope to
catch some needed rest to be able to participate in the retreat, I simply
cannot sleep in a moving vehicle (which was why I took the plane when I went on a
trip to Ilocos). Anyway, we proceeded with the program as planned for day 1. It
was only after lunch when we were given the chance to wash & refresh, but
still not see our rooms. So, it was a long queue to the women's bathroom. And we only
had time to retouch our make up with our bags on the floor – boot camp style.
To some, it may not be important to have time to “retouch make up”, and I think
that’s valid. But, just to illustrate the mechanism of those who
needed proper “retouching time”, please indulge me: ๐ธ As a general rule, my
make-up routine consists of moisturizer, powder, and lip color – I don’t bother
with eye make-up, concealer, highlighter, blush & contour. I go for the
“less is more” look. It is important for me because however tired you are physically,
you can lighten & uplift yourself by looking refreshed, revived. So, if I
look fresh & feel fresh, it helps me lift up my mood & participate
well in the group interactions. Also, whether you admit it or not, it also
helps the speaker to see a lively audience, as opposed to pale-looking and
zombified crowd due to lack of proper sleep. Case & point. Going back to the
program, we continued on to the next part, and the activities
stretched on until past midnight, where there was a bonfire, and there were hotdogs & marshmallows to roast in the fire. It was supposed to be fun, in fact, it seemed like a great way to bond with the group at the end of the day. BUT,
with the number of activities squeezed in for day 1, a good half of us chose to
skip the bonfire if only to go wash up & finally get some sleep.
Another flaw
would be the food. ๐ฑ Admittedly, I’m a picky eater – not because I have a lousy
attitude towards food, but because I have some health issues to consider. However, this hardly constituted to my pickiness, but more on the food choices &
general preparation. As this happened 2 years ago, I don’t remember anymore
what the dishes were, but I do recall the beef
with ampalaya, & 1 other vegetable dish. The dishes were not cooked
properly. I’m a decent enough cook to distinguish “half-cooked” from not cooked
at all. The vegetables, the ampalaya
in particular, was still very fresh (raw), and it’s not the type of cut that
could pass for a “fresh green salad”, it was about an inch thick and more than
1 in. long, cut diagonally. It seemed like the heat (from cooking) barely touched
the vegetable pieces. I’m not sure about the others, but I just know that had I
ate that, I would develop not only the regular stomach upset, but with matching
gas pains &/or spasms. As for the food choices, it was just odd combination, if not plain
weird. There’s definitely plenty of room for improvement for the food.
All in all,
the I Love Life retreat was a really good experience. And with all that’s
mentioned above, I would definitely recommend it to people to try & benefit
from the activity. The talks, the inspiration, the life sharing, and the very
core of the retreat certainly outweighs the low-points. In this retreat, not
only did I get to listen to Bro. Obet Cabrillas' talk – which was such a delight
because I attended a different event where he was the speaker, so I knew his
caliber – but also, I had the pleasure of dining with him. He sat at our table
& chatted animatedly with us. I remember regretting not being able to have
my book signed, because I didn’t have it with me in the retreat. But that’s one
encounter that I really cherished. Also, I had the pleasure of meeting sis Elly
Cabal, author of the esteemed “Worth the Chase” book (I have a separate
blog on this). Plus, I gained a number of friends who, up to this day, still
continue to inspire and uplift my spirit through their posts on social media.
From time to time, I would send a note or just click on the reaction icons,
which may not count to anything significant – but in that tiniest of gestures,
I want them to know that I am grateful to have met them in my life. Time permits,
I may send them simple notes of thanks individually, as they might not get a
chance to read this piece. So, if anyone asks if it’s worth going to the
retreat, I’d say I highly recommend it! And don’t just take my word for it,
grab the chance and experience it yourself. Allow the wonder of God’s love
touch you & share the moment with the people whom the good Lord have
selected for you to be with at the moment. Let’s continue to be God’s blessing
to one another! God bless!
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#TeamEphesians Cry of Pugad Lawin
*photo by Jeanne Harn* ©
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๐~xoxo~๐
p.s. special thanks go out to my
“retreat sisters”
To Maine: thanks for sharing your song videos. They’re really inspiring, in more
ways than you realize.
To Illin: thank you for your wit & humor. When I’m having a bad day, I
just scroll through my newsfeed and your posts never fail to put a smile on my
face.
To Marie: God bless your heart. Thanks for including me in your wonderful
projects. Sorry I’m not able to do more, but I hope you’ll continue to give me
a chance to share my little contribution.
To Ms Maila: thank you for inviting me to this retreat, and thank you for being
God’s blessing to me! ๐
