Journey To The Enlightened Path - I Love Life Retreat

“There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation”

-          Way Back in to Love ~ Music & Lyrics OST

This verse from a popular song came to mind when I started typing. I’ve been searching for enlightenment for as long as I can remember. I feel there must be some kind of purpose, a deeper meaning, why I exist. Exist being the operative word. I often find myself scrambling for any substantial meaning to make it feel that it’s actually a LIFE. I realize it’s a rather depressing thought, so I would try my very best to give this piece some light.

On the outside, I know I seem pretty normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, just one of the unrecognizable face in the crowd - Nothing special. Yet, as overly dramatic as it sound, there’s that inner battle – an Existential Crisis, if you may - that I don’t really feel like fighting. What for? I seriously don’t see the point. But, I find myself still waking up to a new day – a new promise of HOPE. So, I thought I owe it to myself to discover what lies for me down the road.

that's right, it was 2015 - 2 years ago! 

This was pretty much the premise I was in when I accepted the invitation to join the I LOVE LIFE Retreat. I had only attended the Feast once, I think (?). Though on some occasions I would chance upon it on TV, but no real intention or effort to join. For some reason, I got invited to join the retreat... and I’m glad I was given this chance. I believe the good Lord intended to put me here to nudge me towards the direction that I’ve been praying for. So I was able to join this dynamic group - batch 6 [of the star circle quest] 😄 haha.. My purpose of writing this (however belatedly) is to share my insights – highlights & lowlights - of the retreat. This is solely based on my personal opinion, so it may or may not reflect the general consensus of the participants of the batch. 👼

Highlights: What I really appreciate about joining was the warm reception of the service team on the onset. And I do mean right at the very onset of inquiring regarding the retreat – I think it was sis Arianne who kindly corresponded with me on the details on the registration, payment, and other pertinent information relevant to the activity. I had experienced joining other group activities, in some instance on a National level, so I have a good enough reference on the helpfulness of the organizers & service team of activities/events similar to this. I have a knack on knowing whether or not people are being true or not. I can easily pick on the person’s sincerity, or lack thereof – which becomes my basis on how to deal with people I meet. For that matter, I can really feel that the service team had their heart set for the retreat to run as smoothly as possible. 😉

Another thing, I liked how we were grouped for room assignments. I was roommates with Joyce and Jocelyn – all 3 of us just met there. Later on we realized that we were grouped together because we were the same age. 😅 We actually shared this hilarious moment where in all 3 of us were talking as if we’re older than the other 2.. We were talking about some random stuff and one of us mentioned something like “during my time.. and at my age now, etc…”, which then led to a reply “It can’t be that bad, considering that I AM this… & such…”. The conversation went on for a few more minutes, until one of us blurted, “why, how old are you exactly, ‘coz I’m [current age]” – it was only then that we realized that we all have the same age. Thus, explained how we can totally relate to what the other was talking about. And because of this arrangement, I didn’t feel such an alien, instead I felt more like I found 2 new sisters. 😍

The talks & the activity line up were uplifting and fun at the same time. In a true FEAST manner, one can really feel God’s love emanating in all of us. Through this retreat, I met new sisters/friends that are awe-inspiring and made me feel great about the faith journey that we all shared. We were all strangers when we boarded the bus, but we became sisters and brothers after the retreat. I may not have a chance to interact with them after the retreat, but thanks to the wonder of social media, we continue to stay connected. A good reminder of the time we shared in the iLove Life Retreat.

Team Ephesians 😍

Lowlights: The activity line up was all good, but I found the actual execution extremely exhausting! I understand that the organizers wanted to maximize the experience in this retreat, but carrying out all the activities was physically wearing. As much as I wanted to participate & share the encounter with everyone, I found myself all worn out! 😣The day started with a 5-5:30 am call time on a Saturday, so everyone had to come early, lest risk being left by the bus. When we arrived in the retreat venue, we didn’t have time to get settled, no time to wash our face & refresh, not even put our things in the rooms. We were instructed to just put our belongings at the back of the session hall, and proceed with the program. Now, don’t get me wrong, trust me I know the importance of time. I was aware that we’re in  strict observance of time to carry out all the activities, which I felt was of utmost importance to our organizers. And I actually applaud them for their effort in accomplishing the task. But, I do hope they put more allowance to the possible stretch in travel time, and other matters. I’m not saying they didn’t, which is why I wished for “more allowance” – you see, a lot of us came from work that time. In my case, I had the entire week of extended work hours (12 or more hours in the office). Come Friday night, I had to be mindful to cut my sleeping time to make it to the early morning call time the following day. Now, I know a number of the participants managed to catch some sleep during the drive to Tagaytay, but the case does not apply to all. Sadly, it didn’t apply to me. However way I tried to close my eyes in the hope to catch some needed rest to be able to participate in the retreat, I simply cannot sleep in a moving vehicle (which was why I took the plane when I went on a trip to Ilocos). Anyway, we proceeded with the program as planned for day 1. It was only after lunch when we were given the chance to wash & refresh, but still not see our rooms. So, it was a long queue to the women's bathroom. And we only had time to retouch our make up with our bags on the floor – boot camp style. To some, it may not be important to have time to “retouch make up”, and I think that’s valid. But, just to illustrate the mechanism of those who needed proper “retouching time”, please indulge me: 👸 As a general rule, my make-up routine consists of moisturizer, powder, and lip color – I don’t bother with eye make-up, concealer, highlighter, blush & contour. I go for the “less is more” look. It is important  for me because however tired you are physically, you can lighten & uplift yourself by looking refreshed, revived. So, if I look fresh & feel fresh, it helps me lift up my mood & participate well in the group interactions. Also, whether you admit it or not, it also helps the speaker to see a lively audience, as opposed to pale-looking and zombified crowd due to lack of proper sleep. Case & point. Going back to the program, we continued on to the next part, and the activities stretched on until past midnight, where there was a bonfire, and there were hotdogs & marshmallows to roast in the fire. It was supposed to be fun, in fact, it seemed like a great way to bond with the group at the end of the day. BUT, with the number of activities squeezed in for day 1, a good half of us chose to skip the bonfire if only to go wash up & finally get some sleep.

Another flaw would be the food. 🍱 Admittedly, I’m a picky eater – not because I have a lousy attitude towards food, but because I have some health issues to consider. However, this hardly constituted to my pickiness, but more on the food choices & general preparation. As this happened 2 years ago, I don’t remember anymore what the dishes were, but I do recall the beef with ampalaya, & 1 other vegetable dish. The dishes were not cooked properly. I’m a decent enough cook to distinguish “half-cooked” from not cooked at all. The vegetables, the ampalaya in particular, was still very fresh (raw), and it’s not the type of cut that could pass for a “fresh green salad”, it was about an inch thick and more than 1 in. long, cut diagonally. It seemed like the heat (from cooking) barely touched the vegetable pieces. I’m not sure about the others, but I just know that had I ate that, I would develop not only the regular stomach upset, but with matching gas pains &/or spasms. As for the food choices, it was just odd combination, if not plain weird. There’s definitely plenty of room for improvement for the food.  

All in all, the I Love Life retreat was a really good experience. And with all that’s mentioned above, I would definitely recommend it to people to try & benefit from the activity. The talks, the inspiration, the life sharing, and the very core of the retreat certainly outweighs the low-points. In this retreat, not only did I get to listen to Bro. Obet Cabrillas' talk – which was such a delight because I attended a different event where he was the speaker, so I knew his caliber – but also, I had the pleasure of dining with him. He sat at our table & chatted animatedly with us. I remember regretting not being able to have my book signed, because I didn’t have it with me in the retreat. But that’s one encounter that I really cherished. Also, I had the pleasure of meeting sis Elly Cabal, author of the esteemed “Worth the Chase” book (I have a separate blog on this). Plus, I gained a number of friends who, up to this day, still continue to inspire and uplift my spirit through their posts on social media. From time to time, I would send a note or just click on the reaction icons, which may not count to anything significant – but in that tiniest of gestures, I want them to know that I am grateful to have met them in my life. Time permits, I may send them simple notes of thanks individually, as they might not get a chance to read this piece. So, if anyone asks if it’s worth going to the retreat, I’d say I highly recommend it! And don’t just take my word for it, grab the chance and experience it yourself. Allow the wonder of God’s love touch you & share the moment with the people whom the good Lord have selected for you to be with at the moment. Let’s continue to be God’s blessing to one another! God bless!

#TeamEphesians Cry of Pugad Lawin
*photo by Jeanne Harn* ©

💗~xoxo~💖

p.s. special thanks go out to my “retreat sisters”

To Maine: thanks for sharing your song videos. They’re really inspiring, in more ways than you realize.

To Illin: thank you for your wit & humor. When I’m having a bad day, I just scroll through my newsfeed and your posts never fail to put a smile on my face.

To Marie: God bless your heart. Thanks for including me in your wonderful projects. Sorry I’m not able to do more, but I hope you’ll continue to give me a chance to share my little contribution.

To Ms Maila: thank you for inviting me to this retreat, and thank you for being God’s blessing to me! 😘

I FInally Found Zen

Finally 'got myself a zenbook! 😍

No More Excuses!

After years of putting it off, and I do mean YEARS!!! 😓 I finally decided to purchase a laptop 😅 It was a rather conscious effort as I go through my usual over-thinking phase, which was why it took me a few years to finally go ahead & buy one. And I must say, it was rather liberating and I’m quite thrilled with my purchase, actually 😊 (yes, I’m aware that it’s a bit dramatic, but hey, nobody’s forcing you to read on!).

So, I got myself a zenbook, which was not my first choice! 😉 I was actually looking for a Thinkpad or maybe Dell Inspiron. I already have the basics specs in mind, so I went through a number of computer stores to search for the “ONE”. The problem with my initial choices were: (1) Thinkpad was almost unavailable in store display. For this particular brand, the usual models on display were IdeaPad. The sales people would suggest to just order 1 – but the problem is, I want to see it first before I commit to place any order. (2) I did saw the elusive Thinkpad on display in one of my search quest, but when I asked for the color of the unit available, I usually get the same or similar reply, black or dark gray – which felt dark & dreary for my taste. So, moving along to my so-called search, I happened to see a working display of a zenbook, and it was just too pretty for me to ignore.

metallic pink key pad!!! 😍

Now, for this particular model, the sales person told me that they’re in fact not selling the laptop, but it was used to feature the software that they were selling. I’m not sure if the photo is clear enough, but it’s color is rose gold, and it was really thin, it has decent enough specs, oh and did I mention it was rose gold? 😁 And of course, with favorable specs & remarkable aesthetics, it sure comes with a rather hefty price - which also translates to way above my budget. In fact, the price was within the macbook price range. 😵 This put me in a bind, I momentarily considered blowing my budget if it means I’d get my hands on this pretty laptop. Fortunately, sound judgement never left me, so with one final (longing) glance at the beautiful piece, I turned away to look for something similar but not too pricey. So, I found myself looking at the next counter and another zenbook model caught my eye. This time, it was also thin & had similar specs as the pretty one, but the price is relatively within my range ~ I had to do away the metallic pink keypad, though. 😞 I asked the trusty sales person what other colors are there for this model, so he went on and mentioned other colors but I only registered “rose gold” – and from that moment on it was decided… I have found the one!

the toy minion is placed to illustrate how thin it actually is 😎

Along with the fascination of having a new computer would be the projects that I promised (myself) to undertake within x period of time...😅TIME being the operative word (hehehe.. of course the undertaking follows! 😅). But seriously though, I need to find a way to effectively manage my time so that I can accomplish things that I wish to do for myself and then some. 😉 I’ve already posted an outline of some of the things that I wish to do, and I should be more proactive in carrying them out to completion (or die trying?) 😜 hehe.. 

So, NO MORE EXCUSES!

💗 ~xoxo~ 💗