Be Kind Anyway...

Around the 1st week of the month, I had an emotional meltdown. It was one not-at-all-fine Thursday morning, when I got all emotional, and ugly-cried in public (ok.. semi-public 😏). I just felt tired dealing with the daily throes of traffic 😒 constantly adjusting my time just to make it to the office - and people who work in the greater Manila area understand how extremely stressful traffic congestion gets in the morning. And that particular morning it got extra extreme 😣😣😣 (I know! It's hard to imagine, but it really got even worse!!!) not only were the vehicles in exhausted-snail pace, but getting a ride became awfully challenging! And things just started piling up from there on..

photo cr: Disney Inside Out

The day started on a rather positive vibe... I was feeling rather proud, thinking that I would be coming to work earlier than usual because I made an effort to leave early. In fact there were still a number of students making their way to class when I was walking towards the transport waiting area near our place. Since it was still early, I didn't bother turning on my Grab app, as I was positive I could get a ride soon, and make it to work on time... After some time, and I still haven't got a ride, I began feeling anxious, and when I glanced on my phone, I was sad to realize that almost 30 mins. had passed and I was still there unable to get a ride.  When it looked like I won't be getting anywhere soon with the rate of traffic, I decided to change plans & moved to a different route... By this time, more than 45 mins had already passed. But I still kept my cool. I thought, ok maybe I would be a little late, but that's fine. It was just a shame that this happened even with the extra effort to leave earlier, but that's life & unfortunate things happen. At that time, I also decided to turn on Grab to increase my chance of getting a cab. After more than an hour had passed, I was already in a prickly mood. I was starting to have bad feeling, and as time passed and still I couldn't get a ride even with Grab, my mood was turning sour. I was feeling frustrated and desperate, to the point that I was already cursing the day. Finally, there was a cab who stopped, the driver was rather hesitant to take me because by that time my destination was expected to have heavy traffic already. I tried to keep my voice calm as I pleaded the driver to please drive me to work. I had to bribe him extra P50 just to get him to agree. But as soon as we drove forward, I just felt overwhelmed with frustration & self pity with the ordeal that I had to go through just to get a ride to work. Before I could stop myself, I started to cry 😭😭😭. Like really ugly-cry, and I couldn't stop!   

photo cr: https://marandarussell.files.wordpress.com/

I felt like I didn't want to proceed to work anymore. I was in such an awful mood when I thought of calling my best friend, if only to unload some of the frustration I had that morning. She was trying to make me laugh, but it didn't seem to work, I still kept crying uncontrollably. In the end I apologized for calling her, and told her that I would just call when I was feeling better. As I hang up, the cab driver felt sorry for me that he couldn't help but speak out. I apologized for breaking down like that, and he said it was no problem. He then told me that I was kind - which of course seemed unusual for me, being that we never met before 😕. The driver went on and said that he had a number of passengers, who would be swearing non-stop due to utter frustration brought about by the traffic, but I was different - I just cried 😌 I just said swearing wouldn't really help the traffic congestion in any way - not that crying would do any better... It's just that uttering bad words was not really my style 😅. He then continued, with his "grandfatherly" tone, talking gently as if trying to console me 😕 I realized, I must have made him really uncomfortable for crying, as he drove on to the late morning traffic. I must really be in such a pitiful state, that when finally got in my office, he told me no need pay additional fare 😅. I still paid him extra, and thanked him for driving me to work. I guess being kind made all the difference... 😇 Later that day, I called back my bff to tell her that calling her was helpful after all - I then relayed what the driver did, and it was that kind gesture that somehow helped me to find the energy to face the day's work. 

Just this weekend, I got into an accident 😟 It was raining hard and there was a long queue for taxi, so by the time I got a ride, I was really looking forward to a warm bath and sleep. It was still raining heavily when I got out of the cab. As I made my way to the the other side of the street, towards the gate of our house, a speeding scooter (medium-sized, later I learned that it was an e-bike) appeared out of nowhere & knocked me to the ground. 

I just took no more than 2 steps when the scooter hit me. I was well within the pedestrian lane when I fell on the street, and usually pedestrian lanes go with humps, as the case in our area - which caused the rider to get thrown off the bike & flew over the other side of the humps. It all happened too abruptly, and since it was raining hard I tried my very best to get up & seek shelter at a roofed area near by. I even observed that I was able to get up before the rider who hit me - I wasn't sure if it was a woman or a young man. All I can make out of him/her was that he/she was wearing a riders raincoat, with large circle prints, and he/she had a small body frame. As the rider got up, he/she just looked at me but didn't really bother to make any effort to check if I was ok. I felt my left leg was quickly growing painful, so I decided to make my way to my house, to ask help from my family. My focus was to get into a hospital quickly, because my left leg was quickly swelling up. When I got home, my leg was already painful and the size my calf grew dangerously close to the size of my thighs because of the swelling. As I sat on the porch and did a quick assessment of my injuries, the bruise on my left leg was huge & was in a plain black shade. I also observed bruises on my right arm, right leg and I could feel a dull pain on my right hip - which could be attributed to my fall. I just had a quick change of clothes, and made my way to the hospital. I spent at least 2 hours in the hospital to get everything checked, took a series of xrays, until the doctor verified that I did not sustain any fractures - no broken bones. The doctor then prescribed me something for the swelling and was sent home. So, it was sometime after midnight when I was sent home. The following day, it seemed like any ordinary Sunday, except it was hard to get up as my leg hurts with any shift in position. I went on and informed those that I was supposed to meet during the long weekend that I won't make it to the planned appointment. I had to move & re-arrange my appointments. And it was a big hassle. I also consulted some friends on how to file the report for the accident - I was not after any monetary settlement or any of that sort, I just wanted to know if I need to do any report at all. A friend from PNP advised me what to do, and since I was advised to stay out of my feet, my mom was the one who filed the report at our Baranggay* Hall. One thing we really appreciate in our baranggay was the availability of quality CCTV around our town. As soon as the town hall people saw my Mom approach, they were very welcoming, and eager to help. One quick click to the time & street, and they were able to locate the footage of the accident.  They observed that I seemed calm & didn't bother to make a scene as the whole ordeal unfold. My Mom just simply said that it's very unlikely that I would react violently, it was not my nature. And it's true. 😐

Be Kind Anyway... Through both ordeals, I realized how I could have reacted differently, or at least how people expected my reaction to be, and how far that expectations were in the actual unfolding of events. I'm not claiming to be an expert in the kindest of gestures, but what I do know is how the good Lord guided me through my day to day endeavors - the good & not so good. Like when the accident happened, the people watching the CCTV commented that I seemed OK, which was rather dumb 😓. Not being able to go to work for the entire week due to the my bad leg, that's hardly OK at all.. Looking back, I recall being really annoyed at the rider. Have I not felt the growing pain on my leg, I thought I wanted to pick up the scooter & drop it on the rider - that was what I honestly thought that time! 😤Would I have done it, given the chance? I'm not really sure. All I know is that the Lord blessed me with a good enough sense & strength to get up & get the necessary help, to focus on what's important - and in that manner, I was able to remain calm & saw it as a chance to choose to be kind. I am no Saint - that much I am sure about myself. I'm still pretty annoyed at the irresponsible rider, for speeding at the pedestrian lane in the pouring rain - leading to my not being able to go to work. But I am still grateful to the Lord, it could have been worse! I could have fractures and need to cast my leg, which would need longer time to heal - but the good Lord didn't allow that to happen. I could have been angry & miserable, but instead I saw the blessing behind it - which made all the difference. Given a choice, of course I would choose NEVER to go through such harrowing experiences, but since they happened, I thank the Lord for the grace & the opportunity that I have been blessed with - where I was able to choose to be kind. I hope this help inspire us, however small way, to always find the blessing amidst distressing situations, and may we continue to be a blessing to everyone and always BE KIND!  

~💖xoxo💘~

*Baranggay = community or town. In this case, my mom went to file the report at the local town hall.